


Mélange

by tricerahops



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3448022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricerahops/pseuds/tricerahops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mixed-bag collection of ficlets, mostly from tumblr (@tricera-hops) and in chronological order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Advent Calendar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Advent is the season of penance; Mindy gives Danny something to confess.
> 
> Music: Hozier - Take Me to Church

“Hey babe, can you help me hang up these Christmas lights in my living room?”

Danny hoisted the box off the top shelf of Mindy’s closet and opened it, rummaging through the decorations. “Okay, get a power strip, we’ll have to plug in all these lights and see which strands work before – Min, what’s this?”

He pulled out a desk calendar titled “Merry XXX-Mas.” Shit, thought Mindy, grabbing it from him. “That’s nothing, don’t pay attention to it.”

“Is this…a dirty Advent calendar? You’re going to hell!”

“I will not be slut-shamed, and I do not have to justify my past sexual experiences to you! Tom and I just–“

“Tom gave you this? And you did everything in it? Was that before or after you made your sex tape?”

“Okay, that’s enough, Diamond Dan! He got it at one of those raunchy gag gift shops. Besides, we could have some fun with it too…”

She had a point, but Danny felt jealousy flush his face nonetheless. Dammit, she wasn’t even trying and she’d intrigued him. He flipped through the pages of the calendar.

“Whoa, Mindy, this is dirty! No. Advent is the season of the Lord, and I don’t feel right bringing God into our sex life—”

“You bring God into our sex life every day! From the sound of it, I just assumed it makes you fuck me harder.”

“Mindy!”

“I’m just saying! If you don’t want to, that’s cool. Don’t worry about it,” she said, kissing him lightly.

Danny looked at her with an eager glimmer in his eyes. “Forget about the decorations. We should probably get started on this calendar thing.”

He would have to do a lot of penance in the next 25 days; he didn’t care at all.

He kissed her fervently and led her to the bedroom, and in that moment Mindy knew exactly what church she belonged to.


	2. Almost Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a tumblr prompt from @grelca, by way of @smapdi: danny trying to propose and mindy being like if you're only doing this because i'm pregnant don't do it

“Why…what is this? Are you serious? That’s like a real diamond ring, Danny, don’t joke around!” She’s still a little mad at him for kicking her out of his house, and she doesn’t need one of his rash grand gestures right now. Plus, she’s groggy from her nap and an apple pie preservatives-induced food coma, and the doctor’s lounge is hardly the place for a romantic proposal.

“Yeah, I grabbed it from my apartment just now when I was running all over the city looking for you. Don’t you think we should get married? I love you, and with the…baby and all…” he stammers, gesturing to her stomach.

“Alright, we’re OBGYNs in a hospital, you don’t have to whisper the word ‘baby.’ Is that why you’re doing this, because I’m pregnant? I will not be the flavor of the week for your Catholic shamefest, Danny, I don’t care if Father Francis sits you with the masturbators. Actually, that would be more accurate at this rate, because –“

“What? No! That’s not why I’m doing this. Of course not.”

“So it’s an apology.” Her tone is biting, and her tolerance for Danny’s antics is dwindling rapidly.

“No!”

“Danny, sit up, I don’t want people walking in on me rejecting your proposal while you’re down on one knee,” she pleads, annoyed, folding her arms in front of her chest. She just wants to go home and go to bed and deal with Danny later, but she can’t help touching his bent knee to let him know she still loves him.

“Rejecting my proposal?” He looks startled and a little hurt, and Mindy knows that look, because it’s the one she wore earlier when the father of her child disinvited her to a family dinner – oh, sorry, his family dinner.

“You don’t really want this,” she says softly, averting her eyes from his, and she’s not just talking about the proposal.

“I do want this. I want you,” he says.

“Well, your timing seems to suggest otherwise.”

“You want to talk about timing? Ask me how long I’ve had the ring.”

She stares at him, her arms still crossed but her gaze a little softer, and he can see she’s unconvinced.

“Come on, Min, just humor me.” He transfers himself to the couch next to her, leans forward and rests his forearms on his thighs, and turns to look at her. The vulnerability on his face etches itself into his features with every cold word she doesn’t say.

She rolls her eyes and puts on her best fake-chipper voice. “Alright, Danny, my love, how long have you had the ring?”

“You know the night Andy stood you up at the Empire State Building?” he asks, putting air quotes around “Andy.”

“That long?! You were going to propose at the top of the Empire State Building and you stood me up instead?!” She pushes his shoulder, and she’s not sure if she’s madder that he didn’t do it then or that he’s trying to do it now.

“No. Well, maybe. I didn’t really know if I was going to go through with it, but it would’ve been a mistake.”

“Keep talking, Castellano, you’re doing yourself a lot of favors.”

“Well, I know how you like those grand gestures from your movies, and I thought if I could be romantic and spontaneous like all those guys you like, you’d want me back. But the ring was an impulse buy and proposing would’ve been the wrong decision. I wasn’t ready then. I don’t even know if I’m ready now, but –”

“So I’m an impulse buy? Just like when you kissed me on the plane, and when you tried to kiss me in your other apartment, and when you knocked me up.” She turns away from him and looks down so he can’t see the tears forming. “Wow, alright. I get it. Your first choice has always been yourself, your family, and you didn’t ask for any of this. Fine then Danny, you don’t have to have it.”

“Mindy, hey, come on. I know I’m bad at it, but I just want to show you how much I love you.”

She wants to believe him, and she’s so close to getting what she wants – a baby, a family, a hot and rich husband, an engagement ring to keep (and damn, the ring is gorgeous) – but she can’t bring herself to accept it. Not if it’s going to come like this. Not if it’s not going to last.

“You don’t have to show me, but it would be nice if you would tell me.”

“You want me to tell you how much I love you? You already know that.”

“Do I, Danny? You break up with me, you don’t let me leave my stuff at your apartment, you tell me I’m not family –“

“I got back together with you! And I bought you a house…I bought us a house! Mindy, you’re having my baby. You really want to tell me you don’t know how much I love you?”

“Your unplanned baby, and sometimes I don’t know what you’re thinking because you never just tell me anything. Seriously, Danny, why did you want to propose tonight? Tell me the truth.”

“The truth? It was a little bit about the pregnancy, but not because I’m ashamed – because my dad told me I would be a good dad, and good dads keep promises and don’t leave their wives alone to raise their kids. I wanted to take one of the only compliments he’s ever given me and follow through on it. I wanted to prove to you, and to the baby, that I’ll stick around and that I won’t ever make you raise our child alone. But I also wanted to propose because I guess this whole time I’ve been sort of waiting for our life together to start – waiting for you to love me back, to be ready to give you what you want, for you to finish the fellowship and decide what you want to do – but when Ma told me you were pregnant, I realized it’s already started and I’m missing it. I realized you’ve already given me everything I’ve ever been too scared to want, and I was afraid I fucked it up when you left tonight. I love you and I’m all in, Mindy, and I just want you to know that.”

“I love you too, dummy, and will you promise not to propose in the doctor’s lounge next time? And give me at least a couple days’ notice, but really subtly so I’ll get the hint but not be completely sure? I need to paint my nails and do my makeup for the engagement ring selfie because if you don’t post a picture of the ring on instagram within six hours, you’re basically not engaged.”

Danny puts his arm around her, squeezes her shoulder, and plants a kiss on her temple. “Promise. I’ll even tell Morgan to keep it a secret, because he won’t be able to resist dropping hints to you. But only if you promise not to say no next time.”

She smiles and kisses him. “I promise.”


	3. Average

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For GloriaGilbert: a little ficlet about Mr. Average Dong. Set during their first time, whenever you want that to be.

Danny’s boxers fall to his knees and Mindy grips him with one hand, firm and pink and soft. “Oh, thank god,” she half-whispers, smiling and casting her eyes upward.

“Thank god for what?”

She panics, realizing she said it out loud, and murmurs “Nothing” as she kneels and takes him into her mouth.

“No, you were talking to my guy up there, about my other guy down here—“ he gestures “—behind my back and I want to know what for. He’s not supposed to know about this!”

Crap, she isn’t getting out of this one. She stands up, wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. “I was just admiring your dick, babe. God sure knows how to put beauty where it counts,” she winces, trying to save herself, “and I’m pretty sure he knows about this – you know, he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake?”

“That’s Santa, and don’t change the subject. You said ‘thank god’ – what, did you expect to…not be thankful? You’ve seen it before!”

“Not like this! Danny, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

Fuck. She can’t ruin this now, not when she’s waited 500 dates and several months – years, probably – to get him in bed. She’s always wishing he’d be honest with her, though, so what the hell, she might as well practice what she preaches.

“Okay, I admit it wasn’t…I wasn’t too…impressed, alright, that time in the steam room, or on Weiner Night, or when you were impersonating a sick turtle on your office floor after Eyepatch dumped you – you know what, Danny, I’ve probably seen your unaroused pocket-sized penis more than I’ve seen anyone else’s—“

“Alright, that’s enough! You startled me in the steam room, and it was cold when Christina took those photos, and I was hungover that morning in my office. What’s your point? If you’re just going to sit here and insult me all night, I’m not going to do this. My guy’s the best, okay? I know how to do it. I know how to get down. I can prove it to you, Min.”

“No! I was saying, thank god you’re a grower. Babe, listen. There is such a thing as too small, but there’s also such a thing as too big” – he snorts at this, but also doesn’t want her to elaborate on how she knows – “and you, you’re perfect,” she said, reaching down to grab him again and finding that he’s softened a little, and she guesses she shouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. I mean it.”

He grins. “Let’s hear more about this.”

“For starters, I wasn’t kidding when I called it beautiful. Like, it could be in a magazine or the stock photo for the sex toy product descriptions online, or a model for a sculpting class.” She kneels back down to assess it further, kissing and sucking on the tip. “Smooth and straight, the perfect uniform shade of pink, soft like velvet. Perfectly proportional…components…and also proportional to the rest of your body. And the size…well, I don’t know if I’d recognize you on a bottomless beach, but medium-sized is best, I swear to god, and no one wants a horse cock anyway.”

She slides all of him into her mouth and feels him harden fully. “You know, Danny, width almost matters more than length. Anything enormous is too much, but an average length with a nice thickness…”

She looks up at him slyly. “So far this is a hell of a first impression, but I guess there’s only one way to really find out.”

Minutes later, as he’s filling her and fitting inside her perfectly for the first time, the way she moans convinces both of them that average is just right.


End file.
